By Bhavika Kumar
Oxford balls are the best value night out in Oxford, starting from £0 if you already own a ladder...
Every third Trinity, from 6pm until – in some cases – 6am, each college opens its doors to all students and alumni who are willing to cough up £150-£250 for a night of unlimited drinks and food, and hundreds of students are entertained by music until the early hours, and entertainment ranging from dodgems to casinos. Ball committees, hastily formed from those unfortunate enough to volunteer in the JCR, are given the task of ensuring that the night is one to remember instead of just another black-tie bop. Freshers make last-minute trips to Moss Bros to pick up Marcella shirts, scour the internet for the perfect ball gown, and anxiously peruse an array of pretentious men teaching them how to tie a bow tie on YouTube.
By 11pm, no one can remember a thing.
The most notable balls are often those hosted by colleges, especially commemoration balls. But Oxford balls aren’t just limited to colleges, societies can join in the fun too. Last year, I attended the Indian society’s ‘Desi ball’, where the Bollywood-themed playlist was a highlight (even the non-Desi attendees managed to twirl to hits like 'Desi Girl'). Balls are also hosted by other societies such as the Afro-Caribbean, Arab and Asia Pacific societies and even the 93% club. Many charity balls are also hosted during Oxford term time, the most famous of which is the RAG ball which was held in the Natural History Museum last year!
The main problem for students is the price. The Pembroke ball this year cost £400, which represents a sizeable portion of many students’ termly budget, and such problems highlight the wider income disparity at Oxford, where some students enjoy 10x more money each term than others, thanks to generous parents with big pockets. The quality of entertainment, some have argued, has also drastically decreased over the last decades – my boyfriend’s dad has stories of balls he attended that far outstrip the current fare. Even back then, however, the prices led many to try and sneak in by whatever means they could – the best of his stories starts with several undergrads lugging a ladder away from a construction site in dinner suits, and proceeding to climb into Exeter College’s garden via Rad Cam Square. We’ve carried on that tradition in an attempt to get the most of the Oxford experience, sneaking into nine balls across both Oxford and Cambridge over the last year (and being caught and stopped at another four) via parkour, a ladder, an inflatable dinghy and a lot of lying.
The balls of today - whether worth their high price tags - are representative of a tradition that can date to the 19th century. At the time colleges would host summer and end-of-year parties, often seen as modest but charming affairs. Over time balls have grown in their splendour and sophistication, or so they claim. What most balls have to offer the average ballgoer are unlimited drinks and food, beguiling entertainment and a night of dancing and debauchery. However, as a seasoned ballgoer, I have found that one must read the fine print as the ‘unlimited’ refreshments often do end soon past midnight, the entertainment is just some Z list celebrity and the silent discos do tend to get monotonous after a while. This, of course, varies from ball to ball: many of the ones that come with the aforementioned higher price tags can be much better featuring ice skating or headliners like Scouting for Girls. I think you should attend at least one while at Oxford – it’s a unique experience and another opportunity to put on a ball gown. Ultimately, however, it is up to the reader to decide if it lives up to the extravagant claims made by overworked students on the events’ infographic-heavy Instagram accounts.
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